What’s it like doing comedy? Diary of "Mad Comic" Marc W. Juretus.

What’s it like doing Comedy?

I’m asked rather frequently.. "What’s it like doing comedy? I could never do that I'd be too nervous”. Well I’ve been doing stand up for 6 years with about 600 shows under my belt, and would consider myself far from being an expert. But personally I would describe it as a Neurotic type of Euphoria. Simply meaning “THE RUSH REQUIRES LOTS OF FUSS”!!!

Comedy is a bit different than music or acting. When you're in a band or acting in a show, if you’re having an off night, the rest of your band or cast can generally carry you through a sub-par performance. When a comic for lack of a better word “DIES”, they “DIE ALONE”!!!! The awkward silence during a bad set I would equate to running your fingernails down a chalkboard or listening to a “Brittney Spears” album. It’s unlike Karaoke where you’re generally expected to fail. You’re ALLEGLY a professional who’s expected to let the audience forget their prospective lives and experience yours for the 20-30 minutes of your set.

One of the toughest things as a comic is you always have to portray your “The life of the party”. But like everyone else in this fine world, we have DRAMA in our lives to deal with and yet still put on a happy face. (Unless your stick is that of an angry or depressed person). In preparation for a show to get your right mindset, some will do the strangest stuff. I myself actually eat CELERY before every gig, because it has now elevated to an almost “Sick Ritual” that if not done I think I’ll have a bad show. As stated earlier “NEUROTIC”!!! Am I scaring you yet!! ;-)

The average audience doesn’t truly grasp what’s going through a comic’s mind before they hit the stage, sometimes we don't ourselves.. The indecisiveness and confusion of getting in a “Comfort Zone” to deliver your “A-GAME” definitely isn’t UTOPIA.

I will try to describe what’s in a comedians head right before they hit the stage. Generally most comics will survey the room to see if there are any people to possibly incorporate into your act. Also to see if there are any “TOOLS” who might interrupt your set and force themselves into the show by trying you. At that point you’ll decide what your “Comfort Zone” is and if you’ll try any new material. For example if there’s a hot female in the audience you may bag trying any new material that may interrupt your flow and make you appear less polished. Your then introduced and for the most part the audience is on your side and will cheer you when you hit the stage. To me that’s the awkward part of the show. After the applause you have 2-3 minutes to “HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD” because that’s when they decide if your worthy of their undivided attention or choose to converse with their friends hoping the next comedian is good.

In general as the old cliché “Comedy Ain’t Easy!” truer words haven’t been spoken. In my opinion you can’t teach people to be funny. You either are or aren’t it’s that cut and dry. I’ve seen comics do jokes that are extremely similar but experience an entirely different reaction from the audience. Stage Presence and Charisma cannot be attained from a class or constant practice. Some even try a "Stick" or "Gimmick" like a Character or demeanor to make their otherwise boring lives seem interesting. For some that doesn’t even work… Anyone thinking of trying it best of luck…. ;-)

The rapper Eminem in his song “Run Rabbit Run” best describes in my opinion what it’s like right before you get on stage, especially in the early years. Check out the lyrics here.

http://www.lyrics007.com/Eminem%20Lyrics/Run%20Rabbit%20Run%20Lyrics.html

This is the HUMBLE UNSOLICITED OPINION of aspiring comic Marc W. Juretus….

The NBA contracts should mirror the NFL's.

For years I would always talk smack about the NFL's contract structure. How it was so one-sided for the owners, where they could basically get rid of you after a few years contract or not and all you really kept was your signing bonus and part of your salary. I felt it was unfair to players especially in such a brutal sport like Football where they risk permanent injury on a weekly basis. But over the years my views have changed. With the way some athletes today sandbag it after signing a big contract or nurse an injury I'm all for the NFL's contract agreements in regards to the NBA. A perfect example is the 76ers "Chris Webber" how that guy looks at himself in the mirror making 20 million a year with what he contributes is beyond me. The guy is flat out stealing!!! (I guess he has 20 million reasons that help him though) No wonder teams are so bad for so long, you reward a promising talent and he either through "Sandbagging" or injury his once great skills have eroded and now you are in salary cap hell. Can you say New York Knicks who are paying 20 million a year to Alan Houston and the Sixers who I believe are still paying Jamal Mashburn 10 million for this year of which neither is playing anymore. And last I saw both of these guys they are both commentating for TNT and still getting paychecks at full value. I know teams should be held accountable for poor personnel moves but if guys are no longer productive a team should have some measure to recoup some of their loses and remain competitive. The Knicks are by far the poorest example of Personnel Moves who are still paying Jalen Rose 16 + million per while he is playing for the Suns. The way they're going the should make the playoffs by 2010 with a team salary of twice that of the current NBA salary cap. Unreal!!! To sum it up, I'm all for if you "play we pay". You want to sandbag it you can keep your signing bonus and a percentage of your salary but your outta here and we can recoup some of your money against our cap and remain competitive. This is probably the only example of where I'm for management and not the Employees. Just my thoughts these are of course always up for rebuttal.


MaRc

Why does Howard Stern only work Monday thru Thursday?

I'm a big fan of Howard Stern and always have been. One thing puzzles me did he not work on Friday's when he was on regular radio? Before Sirius I stopped listening to him for a while because it was a bit sad listening to how tamed down his show had gotten because of the FCC. Like watching a Lion at the Zoo. As soon as I heard he would be on Sirius uncensored I signed right up and the shows has been great. I really enjoy my Sirius immensely but I don't understand if Howard's trying to push for Subsciptions why would he shortchange the public a day for a service they pay for. It's nice that he is on 4-5 hours a day uncensored with less commercials, but he knows the general public especially his fan base. Working stiffs who live bi-cariously through him won't appreciate getting shortchanged out of a days news and events for a paid service. Most of us can't listen to his show the whole day usually just on the ride in and home and for a bit in the morning. A lot of newsworthy things occur on Thursday afternoon and evenings and by Monday it's usually old hat. If he's getting a 100 million a year its kinda hard to sell not working Fridays to subscribers. I bet quite a few have thought twice about getting a Sirius cause they heard he's off on Friday's and feel if they'd pay just to hear him they would be getting shorted. His Masterpiece theatre is Ok but that is something that should be run on the weekends as filler not on Friday's exclusively. And please no more of that "Friday Show" with Gary.


MaRc